MARK
We all want love, it's a universal truth

DEAN / JANE
Universal truth

MARK
That we all just want someone to say “I love you,”

DEAN / JANE
I love you

MARK
But you don't wanna leave that kinda thing to chance

DEAN / JANE
To chance

MARK
Don't worry, we know how

DEAN / JANE / MARK
to make love last


MARK
What keeps your passion bright?
It's Drama,

DEAN / JANE
Drama

MARK
What keeps you up all night?
Why it's Drama,

DEAN / JANE
Drama

MARK
Start loving smarter, Make your lover work harder
Everything comes back to drama

ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR!


DEAN / JANE
Drama

MARK
It's what we thrive on

DEAN / JANE
Drama

MARK
It's what we survive on
A little understanding can just be way too demanding
The secret to love is drama

DEAN / JANE
Drama


ZARA (Spoken)
What the hell?


MARK
Yes, there is no love without drama, and to illustrate our point, here is a story about two lovers, who owe everything to drama...


MARK
I hate you, I hate you

JANE
That's kinda funny, coz I hate, you too

MARK
So surprising that you'd copy me

JANE
Oh really? Well get this, I'd rather be
Deaf, so I, Wouldn't have to hear you

MARK
Well I'd rather be blind, so I wouldn't have to see you

JANE / MARK
As long as you're around me
I'll never be happy!

ZARA (Spoken)
Disabilities aren't punchlines!

MARK
The lovers had confused their passion for hate
So their friends intervened before it was too late
They spread a rumour to make them love one another
And the rumour, that the other lover was in love with the other.

And slowly the rumour grew
And then they both knew it was true
And it wasn't long till they knew

JANE / MARK
I love them too!


MARK
And what was the secret?

ZARA
That they communicated?

MARK
No! It’s because they got messed around. 'Cos you see… one, two, three, four.

DEAN / JANE
Drama!

MARK
Deceive your friends

DEAN / JANE
Drama!

MARK
For their romantic ends
Go behind their back, and you can relax
Coz the secret to love is Drama

DEAN / JANE
Drama


ZARA
This concept is stupid on so many levels!

MARK
Right.

(Spoken)
What’s your problem?

ZARA
Well what about communicating…

MARK
Communicating? Aw like “Hey I really like you, we should go out?” wha- who even does that?

ZARA
That’s good!

MARK
What would you know? Miss been-stood-up-and-so-now-I’ll-heckle-the-poor-buskers-over-there? I’ve seen you checking your phone. Boyfriend not picking up?

ZARA
Girlfriend. Kind of.

MARK
I tried to communicate once.

(Singing)
I spent hours talking to her on the phone.
Now look at me, I am sad and alone.
(Spoken)
That's not the chord, Dean!

ZARA (Singing)
I thought that I didn’t want a long term thing
And I’ve always leant towards a bunch of casual flings
But even I know how to make a relationship work
I knew I'd be ready when I found my kinda girl

MARK (Spoken)
Very nice. [Slow clap]

JANE (Spoken)
Tell us about her!

ZARA (Spoken)
What do you mean?

JANE (Singing)
Who’s got your passion bright? It’s...

ZARA (Spoken)
Billie

JANE
Bille.
Who’s got you up all night?

ZARA
It's Billie.

JANE
Billie
I know that look, I think you might be hooked
Hooked on a woman named Billie

JANE (Spoken)
Now you go!

ZARA
Oh, uh okay!


ZARA (Singing)
Who brightens up my day
It’s Billie

DEAN / JANE
Billie

ZARA
I’m in the land of Happy play
With Billie

DEAN / JANE
Billie

ZARA
Something is calling, I think I could be falling
Falling for that silly girl named Billie.

DEAN / JANE
Billie

ZARA
Falling for that silly girl named Billie.

DEAN / JANE
Billie

ZARA
Falling for that silly girl, Billie.

DEAN / JANE
Billie


MARK (Spoken)
Dean, play the other song.

(Singing)
Who would you rather be with then hanging with us?

ZARA (Spoken)
Billie.

MARK
Who’s kept you waiting since you got off the bus?

ZARA
Well Billie, but…

MARK
Who doesn't call when she’s running late?

ZARA
...Billie

MARK
In other words, she didn't communicate.

MARK
You’d have thought of this if you were a little smarter
‘Cos like it or not, you’ve got yourself some drama...


ZARA
What? No. I mean...

(Singing)
What am I doing here?
I'm not the kind of person who goes on these kinds of dates.
[Kinds of dates]
I'm not the kind of person who gets in this kind of state.
[Kind of states]
I've always tried to prove I’m tougher than I look
[Then you look]
And now look at me, my heart’s an open book.

I’ve gotta think, I’ve gotta stop
Is this, want I want?

MARK/JANE
What you want?

ZARA
What I want?

MARK/JANE
What you want.

ZARA
What I want?

MARK/JANE
It’s what you want.

ZARA
What I want?

MARK/JANE
What you want.


DEAN / JANE
Drama!

MARK
It's in the air

DEAN / JANE
Drama

MARK
She's not even here!
I may seem I’m uncaring, but I'm grateful for your sharing
What an example of

DEAN / JANE / MARK
Drama

ZARA
What I want?

DEAN / JANE / MARK
DRAMA!